Meditations on Aging in a Youth Obsessed Culture
Sometime in 2019, the “10 Year Challenge” started trending on the various social media platforms across the internet. It had a simple premise; participants were challenged to “show us what you looked like at the beginning of the decade vs the end” by placing two side-by-side pictures next to each other, one from 2009, and the other, a recent picture from 2019. My newsfeed was temporarily overrun with memes by friends and acquaintances who dutifully contributed (as did I, after enough goading). The challenge offered a garish window into how the last decade of our lives had treated us, and despite my every inclination to ignore it, I was captivated. Some (a few) certainly looked better, and others hardly showed outward signs of aging, but unsurprisingly, a fair few were beginning to look worse for wear, and the tell-tale signs of middle age were all too apparent.
The challenge came and went, but my fascination with the superficial aspects of aging lingered. In our social media obsessed culture, where youth is glorified and aging is something of an aberration to be resisted, denied, and concealed by ever evolving forms of cosmetic procedures, I was intrigued by the factors made some look far older than their age, while others seemed to have drunk from the fountain of youth.
The results of my highly unscientific observations led to three basic conclusions:
1) Hair loss is a major signifier of age. Those who prematurely grayed, or those who experienced hair loss, looked significantly older than their age. For guys, those who still enjoyed a bountiful head of hair looked more youthful.
2) Healthy skin signifies youthfulness. Wrinkles are unavoidable, but I was struck by photos of friends whose wrinkles were deeper and more distinctive than the rest. Not surprisingly, these people were also more bronzed than the rest of us, suggesting long exposure to the sun, and a lackadaisical effort to guard against UV rays. What was apparent were crows feet around the eyes, deeper smile lines, and a general dullness to the youthful glow that we radiated in our twenties.
3) Weight gain is a major signifier of age. Arguably the most obvious signifier of the last decade was weight gain. A fair number of my peers gained ten or more pounds, and when comparing side-by-side pictures, the weight gain was obvious. Their facial structure changed, and for most, they didn’t simply “carry the weight” in one or two trouble spots; the entire body was thicker. The difference was almost imperceptible, until you compared side-by-side photos. Even for those who had kept their hair and avoided the sun, the extra weight simply made people look older.
The observations above should hardly come as a surprise to anyone. But what is more curious is that, for all the hand-wringing over aging, there are those in society who seem to be living the old adage that age is but a number. Take Tom Brady, for example. On August 3rd, Mr. Brady will turn 44 years old. Last year, at the ripe old age of 43, he just won his seventh Super Bowl!
But Brady isn’t an anomaly. Look across different sports and you notice a trend. Athletes are playing longer, and staying healthy, well past historic trends. In tennis for example, Roger Federer will celebrate his 40th birthday on August 8th. And a day before the clock runs out on 2021, LeBron James will be 37.
It is remarkable that these three giants remain firmly entrenched near the top of their respective sports. To be sure, all three have conceded certain things to age; they are not as fast as they once were, and more effort and dedication is put toward recovery than when they were in their twenties, but it is nonetheless a modern marvel of science that they are out there, competing with players decades younger than them, and still exceling.
Naturally, the science of sport has changed dramatically in the past twenty or so years. Today’s athletes are meticulous about what they eat, how they train, and how they recover. These three in particular have been open about the fact that they spend millions of dollars every year, preparing their body for the rigors of their sport, and to their credit, all three have remained durable and healthy well past the traditional “prime” in their respective sports.
Despite all this, even a few decades ago, it would have been unfathomable to imagine that athletes would be playing at an elite level well into their forties. This suggests that with enough thought, preparation and dedication, the aspects of age that we fear, the deterioration of the body, the weight gain, and the associated health consequences, are less a function of age than they are of lifestyle.
To that end, I have dedicated more energy to reevaluating my own lifestyle, and making incremental (and drastic) changes. In the past year, I accepted the reality that my metabolism was changing, and that the diet of my twenties was not going to sustain me going forward. After considerable thought, I decided to shift to an almost entirely plant-based diet (while occasionally indulging in meat when I absolutely craved it). I also acknowledged that the changes to my lifestyle since my late twenties (a rigorous desk job and new responsibilities in the form of little kids) not only added intense stress, but also limited the amount of time I had for self-care. I also made it a priority to carve out a few hours a week to physical exercise, irrespective of what else is happening at work or at home. And lastly, and arguably most importantly (if the book, Why We Sleep, by Matthew Walker is to be believed), I committed myself to at least 6 hours a night for sleep (though eight hours remains a stretch goal).
None of this has been easy. My life is demanding; I have little kids that make a full night’s continuous sleep next to impossible. My career and homelife responsibilities sometimes make me feel guilty for dedicating time to physical fitness. And eating a plant-based diet comes with its own challenges, even in Los Angeles. Add to this, the intense stress of a fast-paced life, and each individual challenge is magnified.
But I consider myself fortunate. I have resources to pursue my goals, a career that, despite its demands, allows me the opportunity to set personal goals and to achieve them, and a wife and family that understand that health and well-being are the essence of who we are. For all of that, I remain grateful. Ultimately, life, and how we age, are what we make of it, and I have no intention of slowing down.
I guess we’ll see in 2029 whether all this effort has paid off.